Life Lessons Learnt Through Sight Loss

Delivering personal development training to lots of people recently who have acquired sight loss got me thinking back to the time when my central vision began to disappear.

 

These days I increasingly look forward rather than back. I tend to focus on the future, but looking back can be a useful personal development exercise. If we don’t occasionally look back we may miss opportunities to recollect great times and the lessons we learn along the way.

 

I took a leaf out of my own life coaching book and cast my mind back. It was actually good to remember some important occasions and it highlighted some of the difficult times and how far I have come.

 

It seems like a lifetime ago now, but less than ten years ago I had little central vision in one eye and was waiting for the central vision in my other eye to deteriorate. It was a funny old time as I did not quite know what to do with myself and did not know what it would be like when my overall central vision was affected.

 

Time passed and my good eye remain good and so my overall sight was unaffected. Not knowing quite what to do or how long to wait I decided to apply for work. At the time I was a fashion designer so I worked hard on a new portfolio and secured a job with a well known high street retailer.

 

It was a great next step for me. The position gave me more opportunities to travel, more money and more responsibility and I relocated back to London with enthusiasm.

 

I started on the Monday and it was evident by Wednesday that my sight loss had begun. Looking back I suspect it already had started to deteriorate and I was denying it to myself. I wasn’t doing this consciously but I think I was concentrating on what I could see rather than what I couldn’t.

 

Maybe my sight got worse quickly or maybe it was being in a work situation that made it evident. For example, I was given a tiny laptop to work on and I could not see the screen or the keyboard and it wasn’t until I was asked to colour match that I realised I couldn’t identify colour well. Either way, I did not make it to the end of my first week and reluctantly I went into work knowing I would have to tell my manager that it would be my last day. I don’t actually remember the conversation but I left before lunch.

 

I can’t remember exactly how I felt when I left the building. I seem to remember feeling a bit lost and so I called a good friend. I told her my sight loss was happening and I had left my new, exciting job. She took the afternoon off with immediate effect (what I mean by this is – she told her boss she’d see him in the morning)! I met my friend and she told me she was taking me on the London Eye. Bit random, but in hindsight it was a good suggestion.

 

I had never been on the London Eye before so it was a brilliant opportunity to see the city I love. The timing couldn’t have been better as I didn’t know how much sight I would be left with.

 

As we crossed the bridge over the river Thames we walked past a man on bended knee proposing to his delighted girlfriend. I distinctly remember thinking to myself while I am having a bad day which I will never forget, this couple are having a fantastic day which they will always remember.

 

I looked at them and thought, today is a memorable day for both of us but for totally different reasons. Today is their amazing day and my amazing day will come. Since then I have never thought, ‘there’s always someone worse off than me’ to make myself feel better. I know people say this to themselves to motivate themselves but I don’t really understand this. Why take solace from knowing others are worse off than you? From then on I think, while I may be having a bad day someone else will be having an amazing day and my amazing day will come. This motivates me and feels like a better way to look at things.

 

As we got to the London Eye my friend produced a mini bottle of champagne. Looking back, it is questionable what we were celebrating but it seemed a nice gesture! I don’t think I wanted tea and sympathy, perhaps she knew a bit of bubbly was the way to go!

 

We smuggled our bottle past security and onto the capsule and drank it out of paper cups we had scrounged from the café stand. We drank and gossiped the whole way round the circuit.

 

When we got off I laughed to myself  because I hadn’t looked out at the view once! There I was with possibly my last chance to fully experience the London Eye and take in the famous sights of London and I had not done so.

 

I realised there and then that friendship was far more important than sight. A view is a view but if you have no one to share it with (or in my case ignore it with!) then what good is full sight and beautiful views?